


this does not spark joy

by PhantomPierceOkamoto



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: And suffering, Chat Noir Being Chat Noir, F/M, Getting Together, Identity Reveal, Patrol, also why am I so bad at tagging, dumb situations, gabriel is not so much an asshole in this fic which I almost regret, photoshoot, poor adrien why do I do this to him, ridiculous situations, yikes i really hope this hasn't already been done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 13:14:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19888414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomPierceOkamoto/pseuds/PhantomPierceOkamoto
Summary: "Of all the awful, ridiculous situations Adrien has gotten into on account of being Chat Noir, this is by far the absolute worst."Otherwise known as: Adrien tries to protect his identity and ends up claiming that he's dating Chat Noir.Really.





	this does not spark joy

Of all the awful, ridiculous situations Adrien has gotten into on account of being Chat Noir, this is by far the absolute worst. 

He doesn’t mind coming out to his friends (they were accepting, he knew that much), but he didn’t want to come out by lying to them. Well...at least he wasn’t lying about his sexuality? 

It started with an akuma attack, as most of his problems did. He was in the middle of his homework because he had a late-night photoshoot and had to finish as much as possible as soon as school ended. He frantically rushed through literature homework when his computer beeped, signaling a breaking news report—a helpful feature when he added to make sure he got to any potential akuma attacks. 

“Not _now!_ ” he groaned, cursing under his breath. He jumped up at clicked the link, pulling up footage of a fight breaking out by Notre Dame. Ladybug was already there, yo-yo spinning. He cursed, a little louder, and Plagg snickered to the side. “Shut up, Plagg. Transform me!” 

As soon as he was transformed, he tried to map out the shortest path to get to Notre Dame, and begged whatever higher power looked down on him that the fight would be quick. 

He extended his staff, using it to propel himself out the window. Leaping upwards, he did a forward roll before hitting the building across the street. 

Suddenly, he heard an audible gasp and “ _What?_ ” from the street, enhanced by his superhero suit. He stumbled and tripped over his feet, shooting upwards immediately to look over the building roof. 

There stood Alya, camera poised and pointed at him, her jaw hanging open and eyes widened into tennis balls. He cursed loudly, his own eyes widening. 

A scream from the direction he had been running in caught his attention. He looked towards where the fight undoubtedly was, then back to Alya, who had yet to move. Cursing loudly, he started off towards the akuma fight. Alya would have to wait.

* * *

Adrien rubbed his sore eyes, eyelids drooping with exhaustion. The fight hadn’t taken too long, but he could barely focus on homework when he got home. Worry rolled off of him in waves, hoping that Alya hadn’t broadcasted his identity to all of Paris on her blog. The shoot had gone terribly, between his stress and the photographer’s ridiculous requests, like holding gymnastic poses as he took pictures from every angle. 

Of course, Adrien had gotten home super late, and still had homework unfinished from stressing out about Alya. 

He almost cried when he saw his father sitting at the breakfast table the next morning, wondering how his luck could be so _awful_. The last thing he needed was questioning about the failure of a photoshoot yesterday. 

“Good morning, Adrien.”

“Good morning, father,” he responded, cautiously taking his seat. 

“I apologize about the shoot yesterday. It was evidently too late for you.”

His father? _Apologizing?_ “Oh...um, no, it’s fine.” Adrien responded, floored. 

“Are you alright? You look rather stressed.”

“Fine! I have...a test today?”

His father wrinkled his nose. “You do very well in school, Adrien. But should we be pulling you out? I can’t have you this stressed out over tests, you’re going to start breaking out.” 

_Of course._ “No, no it’s absolutely fine. I will be fine,” Adrien replied hurriedly. 

“I trust you will tell me if you feel otherwise.” His father stood up, pushing in the chair and proceeding up the stairs towards his office. Adrien breathed out a small sigh of relief, but knew that he had plenty else to worry about over his father pulling him out of public high school. 

He was pretty sure Gorilla could feel his anxiety as he drove Adrien to school. Adrien felt a bit guilty, but he couldn’t help how tense he was. He had been too wired to check the Ladyblog last night, and was almost counting on Alya’s friendship over her love of reporting. 

He shouldered his bag, walking towards the classroom with his head bowed. No one seemed to be whispering about him, so that was a good start. He walked inside and saw Alya pacing back and forth, and his heart started beating faster. 

He put his bag down quietly, and Alya looked up at him then. Her eyes widened, she pulled out her phone and put it down on his desk, a bit forcefully. “I didn’t post anything on the Ladyblog. I can feel your stress, Adrien. But still, I want to know what’s going on, so spill.”

Any relief he felt from her first statement was overshadowed by his anxiety about the rest of her demands. “I...um, I—” he stammered, repeatedly. 

“Are you Chat Noir?” she asked, dropping her voice so only the two of them could hear. Just as she asked, Marinette and Rose walked into the classroom. Marinette looked at him, confused as to why Alya was staring at him with the intensity of a tiger eyeing its next meal. 

Rose picked up the camera out of curiosity, and Adrien’s eyes widened further in horror. She gasped and looked up at him. “ _Adrien!_ Are you dating Chat Noir?”

Everyone turned at that, jaws dropping. Adrien froze, words lost in his throat. 

Marinette squeaked. “Dating _Chat Noir?!_ ” she echoed, face turning bright red. 

Alya seemed to pick up the same clues Rose did, turning from the petite blonde girl back to Adrien. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but are you gay?” she asked, curiosity rising in her tone. 

“Bisexual,” he responded immediately, out of habit. And he regretted these words immediately: “And...uh, yep. Chat Noir. We’re dating.”

Luckily for him, Marinette, Alya, Rose, and Nathaniel were the only ones in class so far. That didn’t prevent the incredulous expressions, still. 

“Um, you can’t tell anyone,” he managed, weakly. 

Alya nodded rapidly, eyes shining in satisfaction. “Of course, I’ll keep it private. That’s so cool!” 

He gestured a weak thumbs up before sitting in his seat, and letting his head hit the desk. When he looked back up, he saw Marinette continuing to stare at him, something unidentifiable in her eyes. She nodded towards him before walking up the steps and taking her seat. 

This was officially the worst day of Adrien’s life.

* * *

So everyone had kept their promises, but Alya had slipped slightly and told Nino about Adrien’s “relationship”. He did not anticipate the level of teasing he would receive at that. 

He wasn’t so bothered by Nino’s words as he knew they were not meant to be hurtful, but he was still irritated at the fact that his friends now believed that he was dating himself. Well, they didn’t know he was Chat Noir...which had been the intention...but it was still weird. Really, really weird. 

“What’s up with you, man?” Nino asked. “Sorry, too much teasing?”

“Oh, no. Well yes, but not that.” He glanced at Marinette, who seemed to avoid his gaze. “Did I do something to offend Marinette?”

“You mean your sexuality? I doubt that. She’s an avid supporter—she goes to pride every year—and I’m pretty sure she said she was bisexual herself.”

Adrien felt some tension leave his body, arms relaxing. He didn’t even realize he was worried about that. “Cool.”

“You’re a real caring guy, man,” Nino told him, gently. “It’s really cool that you care about what she thinks. What all your friends think. That’s why we support you, even if we all are supportive of pride anyway.” Nino paused sighing. “Though, you are probably still the most oblivious person I know.”

“What? Why?”

“Nothing, dude. Maybe you’ll figure it out someday.”

Adrien protested that answer, but Nino just chuckled at him.

* * *

Ladybug was waiting for him to start patrol. Chat admired her for a bit, taking any opportunity he could get. His feelings hadn’t ever disappeared, to say the least. He tried to be less overt about it though, which Ladybug seemed to appreciate. 

He approached her slowly, and her eyes flickered towards him. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and...was that _distrust_ he saw? 

“My Lady?” he questioned, a little surprised. “Are you okay?”

“Yup,” she answered, glancing away. “Should we start patrol?”

“Wait, no. Tell me what’s going on.” Chat put his hand on her shoulder, feeling uneasy at her expression. 

She looked back at him, eyes narrowing again. “Fine. I heard you were dating Adrien Agreste.”

His jaw dropped. “ _What?_ Who told–”

“And I’m supportive of anything that makes you both happy, but I wanted you to know that I’m not giving up on my own feelings for him. You may be one of my closest friends, but I swear I won’t give up on my feelings.” she cut him off, ferocity replacing any of the distrust Chat misconstrued earlier. 

His heart raced, throat constricting. “You like _Adrien?_ I mean, you like–” He stopped. “Hold on. How did you find out? Only, like, five people were there when I…” His eyes widened. “...Marinette?”

“When what?” Her own eyes widened in response. “What do you mean _Marinette?_ ”

“You’re Marinette. You have to be. We’ve literally fought Alya and Rose and Nino and Nathaniel.”

“I... _no!_ She...um, Marinette told me about it–”

“Marinette. I know you. You wouldn’t tell anyone any secret you were told to keep...? And you’re an awful liar.” 

She stepped back, shock pulling at her expression. “What do you mean you know me?” She paused, almost reevaluating all his words. “How did you know Adrien only told us–” She gasped, suddenly pointing at him with furrowed brows. “ _Adrien?_ You’re _Adrien?_ ” 

“Well, yeah.”

“What do you _mean_ you’re Adrien?!” she squawked, flustered. “You can’t date yourself!”

“I lied to protect my identity,” he explained, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Oh.” She stared at him, before her expression shifted to horror. Even in the dark, Chat could make out red staining her cheeks. “ _Shoot_. You weren’t supposed to know…” she trailed off. 

Chat remembered her words from earlier, eyes widening. Hope fluttered around in his chest, making his heart race again. “Marinette, do you really like me?”

“I…” she murmured with wide eyes, looking like a deer staring at a car hurtling towards it. Then, she stood up as straight as a lamp post and narrowed her eyes. “Alright. This is a tomorrow problem. Patrol is canceled, I’m going home. Too much for one day. Bye.” And with that, she threw her yo-yo out and swung away. 

“ _Wait!_ ” he called, loudly. “ _Hey!_ You know I know where your house is, right?!”

But she had swung out too far to hear him, and he cursed again. _Fine_. But he would hopefully get an answer tomorrow...and maybe the girl of his dreams?

* * *

Adrien was lucky to have good friends who wouldn’t rat him out. Alya, Nino, Rose, and Nathaniel hadn’t told anyone about his “relationship” since yesterday, and Adrien was starting to feel like his luck was changing. 

He walked into the classroom, setting his bag down and pulling out his class supplies. Alya walked in shortly after, eyes meeting his. She smiled and walked towards him. 

“Hey, how’s your boyfriend?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. 

Marinette walked in, bumping into Alya as she did, and quickly apologizing. Adrien felt a smile tug at his lips before he could stop it. 

“Oh, we broke up,” Adrien fibbed, watching Marinette’s eyes widen behind Alya. “He still has feelings for Ladybug.” 

Marinette’s face colored, red staining across her cheeks and even up to her ears. Alya glanced behind her to follow Adrien’s gaze, furrowing her eyebrows at Marinette’s expression. 

“But it’s totally fine. I also have feelings for someone else, anyway.” Adrien added, unfalteringly gazing into Marinette’s eyes. His smile grew wider as he watched Marinette’s blush darken and mouth pop open. 

Alya chortled. “ _Oh?_ What’s this?”

Marinette stammered, eyes flicking between Adrien and Alya. Shutting her mouth sharply, she walked past both of them and sat at her desk, slamming her head down against the wood. 

Adrien winced at the sound, but laughed in response as she refused to look back up at him. He continued to gaze at her until class started, ignoring the teasing jabs from all sides as he admired the redness he could still see staining her ears. 

Yeah, his luck was definitely changing.

* * *

As soon as class ended, Marinette stood up and pulled Adrien to his feet, beginning to drag him out of the classroom before he could even get a word out. He nearly fell over as she pulled him over the step and towards the door. Behind him, he could hear Alya’s cry of “Get him, girl!” and Nino’s confused stammering. 

“Marinette!” Adrien exclaimed, as she opened the door to the broom closet and shoved him inside. 

“Can you, like, not?” she hissed, her anger diluted by the blush on her cheeks. 

“Not what?” he asked, grinning. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out myself. Look at that!” she growled, pointing at his lips. “Look at that smug smirk, you ridiculous _cat_. God knows what kind of puns I’m going to have to put up with in school—”

“Marinette,” Adrien cut off her rambling, lightly pressing her against the door. “You can’t get away from me this time. Do you—” he flushed, ducking his head slightly. “really like me?” 

She pursed her lips and looked to the side, but Adrien could see the redness spread all over her face. 

“Because, and I think you already know at this point, I really like you.” he said, backing up a step and rubbing the back of his neck. “With or without the mask. You’re amazing.” 

Marinette looked back up at him and he felt his knees wobble at her gaze, eyes and eyelashes and _oh my god, what I wouldn’t do for those eyes_. “I do. I like you.” she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Silly cat puns and all.” 

“Really?” he asked again, awed. 

“Really,” she giggled. “You silly cat.” 

He pulled her in for a hug, then twirled her around. She giggled more and batted at his nose. 

“But you’re still going to have to answer for all the confusion you put me through. Dating Chat Noir? Really?” 

“Worth it,” he immediately responded. “Because now I can date you.” 

Ridiculous situation: averted. Love of his life: won. 

Nothing could spoil it now. 

“Stop smiling like that, _chaton_. You think Alya’s going to let you off the hook that easily? You better get your story straight, and fast.” 

_Damn._ He almost forgot about that.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this nonsense lol
> 
> Find me on tumblr @phantompierce-okamoto (not that I've been posting much lately)


End file.
